selfdoubtandsyphilis: dankestrnemes: do animals think in english or in the sounds they make this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
dorfs: Woops my 10 minute study break turned into a whole year
bullied: i like online shopping and putting everything i want in a cart then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab
gossipgran: i hit rock bottom like every 2 weeks
princeowl: princeowl: can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like sushi bars i could really use some fish right now fish right now fish right now this post would have been a hit in 2010
royal-high: a kid from my school just got expelled today for pretending to be russian for 8 months. he pretended he couldn’t read, write or talk english he did good in all his classes because he had all the teachers and principles convinced he just moved from russia, so they didn’t make him do any work
theselener: theselener: theselener: what’s the richest kind of air billionaire i lost 2 followers from this in like 6 seconds
crazieecatladyy: martinfreemanisahedgehog: chocolatechip-panda: fishthatcanswiminfog: Oh. My. God. I’ve just Googled “The Most British Picture Ever” and this came up well this is the result for the most american picture ever got to say, its pretty accurate i googled most canadian picture ever and i dont think i would be able to sum it up any better this is the most...
pizza: how many times is it appropriate to say ‘what’ before you nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said
hi hello if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today
peetasboxers: peetasboxers: A COP JUST CAME TO MY HOUSE AND TOLD US WE NEEDED TO EVACUATE AND MY DAD WAS LIKE NO SO THE COP WAS JUST LIKE WHATEVER AND WALKED BACK TO HIS POLICE CAR AND AS WE WAS WALKING AWAY MY DAD WHISPERED “YOLO” DAD I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THIS IS A HURRICANE WE CANT JUST SURVIVE WITH “OUR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF SWAG”
muffinmachine: My grandpa got his first spam email and he called the police
natured: I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
kyary: do you like money? ¥£$
foodtrucker: ‘it’s not cold’ said the PE teacher with a coat on
chompyface: i was a good student until the crushing weight of reality shattered my hope for the future
potential-and-difference: prop-215: dazegetbrighter: what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them? How stoned are you right now? Was that a fucking pun?